80 Ways to Discipline Your Child Without Spanking

Four Ways to Discipline a Child Without Spanking
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Although such principles began to be rejected as early as the s, they were firmly renounced in the best-seller Baby and Child Care , by pediatrician Benjamin Spock , which told parents to trust their own instincts and to view the child as a reasonable, friendly human being. Spock revised his first edition to urge more parent-centered discipline in , but critics blamed his popular book for its permissive attitude during the youth rebellions of the s and s.

Following the permissive trend of the s and early s, American evangelical Christian James Dobson sought the return of a more conservative society and advocated spanking of children up to age eight.

As early as The New York Times stated that "most child-care experts today disapprove of physical punishment. Corporal punishment of minors in the United States. In many cultures, parents have historically had the right to spank their children when appropriate.

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  7. The Connections Between Spanking and Aggression.

The study noted that abusive physical punishment tended to be given by fathers and often involved striking the child's head or torso instead of the buttocks or limbs. Attitudes have changed in recent years, and legislation in some countries, particularly in continental Europe, reflect an increased skepticism toward corporal punishment. As of December , domestic corporal punishment has been outlawed in 56 countries around the world, most of them in Europe and Latin America, beginning with Sweden in Official figures show that just 10 percent of Swedish children had been spanked or otherwise struck by their parents by , compared to more than 90 percent in the s.

Even as corporal punishment became increasingly controversial in North America, Britain, Australia and much of the rest of the English-speaking world, limited corporal punishment of children by their parents remained lawful in all 50 states of the United States. It was not until that Delaware became the first state to pass a statute defining "physical injury" to a child to include "any impairment of physical condition or pain.

A number of authors have emphasized the importance of cultural differences in assessing disciplinary methods. Baumrind argues that "The cultural context critically determines the meaning and therefore the consequences of physical discipline. Polite emphasizes that the "debate over whether or not to use corporal punishment rages in many ethnic communities. The effects of spanking in African American families are generally beneficial to children, unless it is used excessively, either in severity or in frequency. Our results confirm the serious differences of opinion on discipline, even in a relatively homogenous ethnic community.

Child discipline is often affected by cultural differences. Many Eastern countries typically emphasize beliefs of collectivism in which social conformity and the interests of the group are valued above the individual. These societies often value independent growth and self esteem. For the collectivist societies, shaming corresponds with the value of promoting self improvement without negatively affecting self esteem. There are different parenting styles which parents use to discipline their children.

Four types have been identified: authoritative parents, authoritarian parents, indulgent parents, and indifferent parents. Authoritative parents are parents who use warmth, firm control, and rational, issue-oriented discipline, in which emphasis is placed on the development of self-direction. They place a high value on the development of autonomy and self-direction, but assume the ultimate responsibility for their child's behavior.

Authoritarian parents are parents who use punitive, absolute, and forceful discipline, and who place a premium on obedience and conformity. If parents exhibit good emotional understanding and control, children also learn to manage their own emotions and learn to understand others as well.

Adults are expected to know from experience what is really in the child's best interest and so adult views are allowed to take precedence over child desires. Children are perceived to know what they want but not necessarily what is best for them.

First ban on smacking children

Indulgent parents are parents who are characterized by responsiveness but low demandingness, and who are mainly concerned with the child's happiness. They behave in an accepting, benign, and somewhat more passive way in matters of discipline. Indifferent parents are parents who are characterized by low levels of both responsiveness and demandingness.

They try to do whatever is necessary to minimize the time and energy they must devote to interacting with their child. In extreme cases, indifferent parents may be neglectful. For instance, they rarely assign their children chores. They tend to be relatively uninvolved in their children's lives.

It's not that they don't love their children. It's just that they believe their children should live their own lives, as free of parental control as possible. A fifth type of parenting style is connectedness. Connected parents are parents who want to improve the way in which they connect with their children using an empathetic approach to challenging or even tumultuous relationships. Using the 'CALM' technique, by Jennifer Kolari, parents recognize the importance of empathy and aspire to build capacity in their children in hopes of them becoming confident and emotionally resilient.

The CALM acronym stands for: C onnect emotionally, match the A ffect of the child, L isten to what your child is saying and M irror their emotion back to show understanding. Non-physical discipline consists of both punitive and non-punitive methods but does not include any forms of corporal punishment such as hitting or spanking. The regular use of any single form of discipline becomes less effective when used too often, a process psychologists call habituation. Thus, no single method is considered to be for exclusive use. Non-Physical discipline is used in the concerted cultivation style of parenting that comes from the middle and upper class.

A common method of child discipline is sending the child away from the family or group after misbehavior. Children may be told to stand in the corner "corner time" or may be sent to their rooms for a period of time. A time-out involves isolating or separating a child for a few minutes and is intended to give an over-excited child time to calm down. Alternatively, time-outs have been recommended [ by whom? When using time-outs as a discipline strategy, individuals must also take into consideration the temperaments of the child if one decides to use time-outs.

If a child, for example, has a feisty temperament, or a temperament that expresses emotion in a highly intense way, then discipline strategies of using time-outs would be ineffective because of the clash of discipline strategy to the child's temperament trait. If an individual decides to use the time-out with a child as a discipline strategy, the individual must be unemotional and consistent with the undesired behavior.

Along with taking into consideration the child's temperament, the length of the time-out needs to also depend on the age of the child. For example, the time-out should last one minute per year of the child's age, so if the child is five years old, the time-out should go no longer than five minutes. Several experts do not recommend the use of time-out or any other form of punishment.

Grounding is a form of discipline, usually, for older children, preteens and teenagers, that restricts their movement outside of the home, such as visiting friends or using the car and they are not allowed to go anywhere but school and few required places. Sometimes it is combined with the withdrawal of privileges for computer, video games, telephone or television.

Some research suggests that scolding is counter-productive because parental attention including negative attention tends to reinforce behavior. While punishments may be of limited value in consistently influencing rule-related behavior, non-punitive discipline techniques have been found to have greater impact on children who have begun to master their native language. It is about loving guidance, and requires parents to have a strong relationship with their child so that the child responds to gentle guidance as opposed to threats and punishment.

According to Dr.

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Laura Markham, the most effective discipline strategy is to make sure your child wants to please you. Non-punitive discipline also excludes systems of "manipulative" rewards. Instead, a child's behavior is shaped by "democratic interaction" and by deepening parent-child communication. The reasoning behind it is that while punitive measures may stop the problem behavior in the short term, by themselves they do not provide a learning opportunity that allows children the autonomy to change their own behavior.

Consequences as a form of punishment are not recommended, but natural consequences are considered to be possibly worthwhile learning experiences provided there is no risk of lasting harm. Positive discipline is both non-violent discipline and non-punitive discipline. Criticizing, discouraging, creating obstacles and barriers, blaming, shaming, using sarcastic or cruel humor, or using physical punishment are some negative disciplinary methods used with young children.

Any parent may occasionally do any of these things, but doing them more than once in a while may lead to low self-esteem becoming a permanent part of the child's personality. Cohen , and John Gottman. In the past, harsh discipline has been the norm for families in society. However, research by psychologists has brought about new forms of effective discipline. Positive discipline is based on minimizing the child's frustrations and misbehavior rather than giving punishments.

watch The main focus in this method is the "Golden Rule", treat others the way you want to be treated. Parents follow this when disciplining their children because they believe that their point will reach the children more effectively rather than traditional discipline. The foundation of this style of discipline is encouraging children to feel good about themselves and building the parent's relationship with the child so the child wants to please the parent.

This is the Key to Calm Parenting

In traditional discipline, parents would instill fear in their child by using shame and humiliation to get their point across. However, studies show that this type of punishment ultimately causes the children to have more psychological problems in their adolescence and adulthood. Physical and harsh punishment shows the child that violence and negative treatment is acceptable in some circumstances, wheres, positive discipline demonstrates the opposite. In positive discipline the parents avoid negative treatment and focus on the importance of communication and showing unconditional love.

Feeling loved, important and well liked has positive and negative effects on how a child perceives themselves. The child will feel important if the child feels well liked and loved by a person. They have said violence like the Trayvon Martin case and the shooting in Ferguson are evidence of whites hating blacks.